What? Who would choose to be offended? Everyone.
We pick and choose what our values and beliefs are. Then when someone violates our values and beliefs, we get offended. But a huge part of being offended is our interpretation of what is happening, at the moment, when we get upset. I have noticed it is usually due to a thought I am having that sends me down the road of discontent.
Today for example my son was calling me a liar. I said I had been up in the middle of the night (which I usually am for several hours). He knows this is how I do life. But he kept saying “why are you lying? Let it go, you were not.” He said this dead pan like he was a tad irritated. (My thoughts were that he was arguing and being disrespectful) I bit right into it. I started getting defensive and upset = offended. Offended that he wasn’t believing me. Offended that he wasn’t respecting me.
Then the thought ran through my mind. It was a tiny quiet voice. It said “maybe he doesn’t just “appreciate” a dry sense of humor…maybe he has one —and I have been taking it wrong and creating fights unknowingly by being offended and replying out of that mind set.
So, I chose to play along with him. And we laughed. It could have gone a whole different way—and it has many times in the past.
I read a blog today right after that incident. The blog is from Kent A and can be found here: (Read about the willingness to change by Kent A.)
While it was not about being offended, it was about the willingness to change. Because of it I came to a New Year’s Resolution for 2019. For this upcoming year (starting now) when I am not at peace, whether offended or some other feeling, I am going to ask myself if the situation and/ or person could be seen another way. Perhaps there is a neutral or even positive take on what is occurring. I know this is not always going to be true. But if I can save even several instances of not being content—I’ll take it.
For now- on out- I will realize my offense is probably due to a thought running through my head. It is my choice to run with my impression or step back and choose a different approach. Wish me luck.
Until next time,