Do I want my wishes or do I want God’s will for my life?
An opportunity came up in March that I wasn’t expecting.
I decided it was time to go back to work.
My son and I run through the money I have by the 8th of the month just paying bills and spending $60 on food for both of us for the month. He is an adult and needs a job. He has anxiety and depression issues so it complicates the process. Anyway, since the doors for him to pay his own way have not opened yet, I decided I couldn’t go on this way. That means if not him… then me.
I currently volunteer 9 hours a week at my church. I asked if the staff would be willing to be character and work ethic references for me. They all said yes.
After their next staff meeting, the pastor called me into his office. He reaffirmed that he was willing to be a reference then added “but we hope you will find employment here with us.” I was shocked and overjoyed. I did not see that coming.
He asked how much I needed. I said even $200 would make our life a lot better. So he did some math and the figure was more like $360. YAY.
But, realizing that last December I had put on my wish list that I wanted $300 more income a month (and now that was coming into my life)…I thought, what if I put on my list that I want $500? So I did. And, someone happened to quit 3 weeks later at church– which opened up more hours and more pay…approx $600 total. YAY
Unfortunately, the man who had quit (resulting in the additional hours for me) decided to stay on. Ok, I’m rolling with it and trusting God.
The job is still being written up for exactly what the job will entail. There are a few different areas they would like me to spend time working in.
So while I wait (its been almost 2 moths now), I am waiting patiently and trusting God that things work out for the best……that is until today. LOL. While on a long walk, I started to think about what I wanted in my life right now and how I want to spend my time.
Suddenly I began thinking about this job and what I really hoped would happen with it, how my time would be allotted, and what amount I wanted (not just needed) financially and actually think I could handle and fulfill.
Interestingly, the man (who quit and came back) has been MIA all week and let something major fall through the cracks this weekend without telling anyone nor asking for assistance to do it. So those hours might open back up. Plus, there is a new community outreach program they need headed up one day a week that just came up.
Therefore, once again what I wish for is possible.
But is it God’s will? I don’t know because I never asked. Hmmm.
There is no chapter in the Bible that tells us how to discern God’s will. There is no verse that says “x amount of hours will work in these situations.” God’s will isn’t always about a particular circumstance. But it IS always about who we become through those circumstances. And that is covered in the Bible.
I need to consider if the work I do will contribute to me being a better person. Will it allow me to do good things with my life through the increase in income? Or will I be pushed too far and be irritable, in a foul mood, which might get taken out on innocent by standers at work or at home?
Well, it looks like I have some more thinking to do so I can be honest with myself and with the hiring committee. As a believer I can’t just run off and chase every wish that crosses my mind. I know the world says “if you want it you can have it.” Maybe so, but it is wise to slow down and think through if it is the best path according to God’s desires for my time, my relationships, my other commitments.
I have thought it through and come up with what would fit both God’s plan for my character and commitments. That is the number I am wishing for and ready to discuss and accept.
Things work best when my wishes align with God’s will.
Until Next Time~
Do you, also, ever run ahead of God before asking for His wisdom and guidance? Share with me. I’d love to hear how you make your decisions.