Conviction about my slothfulness

Full disclosure… I mentioned yesterday that where God is trimming me is in my slothfulness. (There are more areas but this one He has been working on me for a while.)

In my particular case, I may have mentioned on here before, I work part time and then go home and take naps. What is wrong with that you ask? Normally I would say “not a thing”. And for others doing the same, I wouldn’t bat an eye.

But God has placed on my heart to get some writings done. These writings are to be self published. I don’t know WHO they will help. What I do know is God has already used them in my own life to lift me up and refocus my mind when I am in the valley of darkness. Therefore, I believe, there is at least one other person for whom these would help.

So, in my room sit these 90 “devotions” for lack of a better category for them. They need editing and finishing up before I can publish. I have a few more that I need to do so my writing coach and I can pick and choose. The writing is not a problem for me. When I am inspired I can write 12 at a time. That is “when I am inspired”. When I am just in a normal day, I can’t seem to knock anything out at all.

So I don’t try.

I let the days go by. I sleep for a couple hours in the afternoon. Yes, I said HOURS plural. I do this even knowing that 1) I am not always, hardly ever, tired in the afternoon anyway– except in my depression cycles….and 2) I have nightly zoom meetings for a couple hours 5 days a week and am too tired after to be creative.

When I have a project I believe I can do for myself and others; when I have a project I believe God blesses when I work on it; when I have a project God keeps opening the doors for in miraculous ways…what am I doing sleeping my days away?

Today’s verse from You Version was this one: Colossians 3:23-24 ICB

In all the work you are doing, work the best you can.Work as if you were working for the Lord, not for men. Remember that you will receive your reward from the Lord, which he promised to his people. You are serving the Lord Christ.

Part of what trips me up is my lack of confidence. Just like most people, I have doubts that what I write will actually make a difference. Therefore why rush to put something out that may never be read? (I said full disclosure).

But as I said in yesterday’s post: It matters not how small the contribution will be. God judges and asks not according to the world’s standards. We might think something is inconsequential– but we do not see the ripple effect. It is not our business as to the WHY we are asked to obey. It is not our business as to the scale nor the result.

I don’t know why I am even sharing this with you– other than to share what God is trying to trim off my branches. Sometimes it is comforting for me to know I am not alone in a habit or behavior.

If you are holding out on obedience for the Lord— what ever that is: speaking to a co-worker about God, your church, your faith leading a Bible study mentoring a youth anything that is on your heart periodically that you know God placed there… you are not alone.

But that doesn’t mean we have to stay there.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Today as I pick up my work again...Let me pray for you. If you are holding out…how can I pray for you?

Until Next Time~ Blessings, Kate