Done. Wiped out. Exhausted. CAN’T TAKE NO MORE ! I just don’t have the strength nor the desire to face what’s in front of me. I just need a break. Just one day- Please!
In May 2012 my mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer. We lived 2,500 miles apart. Relatives living near her said she would be lucky to get to Christmas.
On June 3rd she entered Hospice.
I had been talking to her daily for 4 years since my dad passed away. She was my best friend. But on June 6th I couldn’t face it anymore. I said all the above things. And I took the night off from calling her. After all, I needed a break.
At 7:30am on June 7th, I shot up straight in bed and thought “my mom died.” By 9:15am the calls started pouring into my answering machine. She had passed. June 6th is a night I still regret. My willpower had given way in the face of pain. I took a step back rather than persevering. I will never have that last call with my mom.
Self-discipline and willpower can go out the door. But stubbornness– that is a great quality to propel us through hard times. That spirit that says “Oh yeah?! I’ll show them!” then strives ahead. It’s giving everything when you’ve got nothing left.
Right now- go ahead and ask God to grant you life-sustaining stubbornness that will carry you through and glorify Him.
Until Next Time~
Blessings, Kate
Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash
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